Anonymous asked: what has your heart been telling you lately?

way too many things. in fact, so many things that I’m trying to ignore it

the truth is

i still think about you all day and it makes me want to fucking die

i miss you so much

things have been darke

i’ve had people message me saying how much they loved Point Oblivion and how they want me to return to that sound on the new material. i’ve also had just as many people message saying how they wish i would return to the sound of Widow. i have never written music that was insincere and refuse to put out a dishonest product. that is why it is important that i express to you my beliefs on the matter.

when i wrote Widow, i was at one of the darkest points of my entire life. i was depressed, hopeless, helpless, and unhealthy. what came out of it was an honest representation of my psyche in the form of music and words. it was unapologetically unhappy with seemingly no light at the end of the tunnel, also reflected by the way the outro of the last song loops back into the intro of the first song.

when writing Point Oblivion, my life was pretty decent. i didn’t really have too much going on in my life that made me unhappy, and what came out was a retrospective take on obstacles and emotions that HAD occurred in my life but were not currently happening. thus, PO was more about overcoming these things and taking control of otherwise daunting predicaments. PO was an album i wish had existed when i was a child, being bullied, growing up a minority, having my heart broken, and experiencing other coming-of-age situations, hence the nostalgic sound and feel.

now, regarding the future, music is a passion of mine that i’ve pursued unrelentingly for years. along the way i have failed many more times than i have succeeded, and it seems like that will continue to be the case. this path is riddled with challenges and i have fallen flat on my face more times than i can count. recently, especially in the past few months, i have encountered failure much more frequently than ever before.

because of the current situation with the band, i have had to make some major adjustments to performing and songwriting. things just aren’t the same professionally and personally. when life gives you lemons…right? sometimes i feel embarrassed about it. sometimes i feel ashamed of it. sometimes i wonder if this is the universe telling me that it’s time to give up and throw in the towel.

but FUCK that. the universe can eat a dick. im gonna shit on it and put out music that i fuck with and believe in. if you don’t fuck with it then oh well, listen to something else!

FUCK YOU DARKE OR DIE